Personal Challenge: Facebook Diet ~ Revisited

Several months ago, as we were preparing to move, I experienced quite a bit of heartache as friendships were tested and I was hurt and frustrated over lies and betrayal that was confirmed in black and white on careless comments made on Facebook.  As a result, I decided to try to ween myself off the social media culprit of much of the drama I was experiencing in my life.  You can see that first post here.

I failed ...  sort of.

So let me explain.

I figured the time spent in limbo would offer me the perfect opportunity to break away from Facebook.  My goal was to limit myself to one visit to the "Devilbook" (as DH calls it) a week.  Another goal was to avoid negativity from Facebook at all costs- to skim over hurtful comments, to avoid political debate, to ignore blatant contradictions and lies from those I would rather be blissfully ignorant of their betrayals.

I did REALLY well for a few weeks.  A little over a month, in fact.  I had deleted Facebook from my smart phone.  I removed it from my favorite's tab.  I unchecked the "remember password" option so it would be just that much more difficult to gain access.  I missed it at first.  I went through Facebook withdrawal like one would experience caffeine withdrawal.  However, after the first couple weeks, I realized how much lighter I felt not being bound to the intimate details of my friend's lives.  I realized how much of my own life I was missing by worrying so much about everyone else.

And then I failed.

We finally got to our "in limbo" home.  Here I have been able to get a working (well, mostly) internet connection, which has allowed me to work from home and continue working on editing, ghostwriting, and authoring projects.  I have also been able to refocus on my personal blog.  That is when failure struck.

I want my blog to succeed- this one and Military Women of God (even though it is currently on hold.)  I want to increase readership.  I want reader involvement.  I want to know that what I have to say is helping someone.  And there come the reason for my Facebook Diet failure.  Blog after blog after blog I have been reading to learn more about blogging, and gaining readership, and improving blogging habits advises utilizing social media avenues, especially Facebook and Twitter.  So I did. 

Now, for the past several weeks, I have found myself on Facebook as much as I ever was before my personal challenge to cut it out.  However, I have laid down some very strict rules:

1.  Limit personal posts.  Leave personal thoughts- expanded upon- for the blog.
2.  Continue to avoid all the people and posts who have caused me drama, even if that means deleting or blocking them.
3.  If I have nothing nice to say in response to a comment- don't... and hide the comment.
4.  "Unlike" all the pages and links that also fed into the drama.
5.  Let people go. Unfollow them.  Delete them.  Block them.  Whatever it takes to force those people to contact me directly if they have something they need to say.

I am on Facebook every day now.  I share my blogs on a designated Facebook page.  I started a group for local home business owners, which I have to monitor at least once a day.  I network.  I am meeting other bloggers, other authors, and new friends.  I am cultivating friendships, even at long distance, that need to be built as those friendships have proven the test of distance, time, and hardship, while I am letting the others slowly drift away- friendships no more- merely acquaintances.  And I am finding I am truly okay with that.

Facebook is no longer a lifeline... It is a tool.  I hope that is how it shall stay.

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Personal Challenge: Facebook Diet

 

DH has been telling me for ages that Facebook is of the devil.  I have laughed him off, I have raised my eyebrows at him, and otherwise have simply ignored his sentiment.

However, in light of recent events, where I am on the verge of walking away from relationships because of their candor on Facebook that they are unwilling to have with me in person, over the phone, or even in text, I find myself questioning the validity of DH's statement.

Granted, on one side, I would be living in happy, if not ignorant, bliss never knowing that people I care about do not reciprocate.  I never would have caught "friends" in a lie were it not for Facebook. 

On the other side, I HAVE caught "friends" in lies- blatant, black and white, no denying them- and then suffered the pain from their obvious lack of concern over those lies, and I am simply tired of the drama.

Facebook has been an incredible avenue for me to stay connected, especially now that I go to school online and work from home.  Facebook has allowed me to network my son's push to earn his own money.  Facebook has allowed me to share my thoughts and opinions with both like-minded and diverse-minded friends and acquaintances scattered to the four corners of the earth.

Yet, I simply find it more annoying and more stressful than uplifting and enlightening.

So, my challenge to myself is to cut way back on Facebook.  During the next three months, as we transition from one home to another, I have the perfect opportunity to walk away from it. 

Let it sit.  Let it change from a lifeline as I have found it to be, to a mere avenue of contact.  

I am not going to delete my account- I have too many valuable relationships connected to the account.   I am going to delete a lot of information on the account.  I am going to take down the majority of pictures.   I am going to "clean it up" as much as I can.  I am deleting the FB app from my phone.  Finally, I am only going to allow myself to check my account for messages and comments once a week. 

Once we are settled at our new home, maybe the Facebook Diet will be changed.  Maybe not.  We shall see.  :)

In the meantime, I hope to focus more on blogging- making this more of my avenue to share.  That will also challenge me to choose more carefully the words I type, the thoughts I intend to convey, and hopefully will be much more healthy for myself and anyone who reads this.

As always, your prayers are appreciated.  Leaving a social media website that has been addicting for so many years is as hard as stopping biting nails (in my case)...  I will need the prayer support for sure! 

God bless!