When Everything Seems To Go Wrong

As many of you know, I am a MilSpouse. I love my life as MilSpouse. I love being affiliated with the Armed Forces. I love my Veteran status- not for any recognition it might bring me, but because that was the very first job I had where I truly felt proud of what I was doing. I love supporting DH. I love the places the Military has sent us. I love PCSing. I love seeing new places, learning new things, meeting new people, and then moving on again.

Yeah, the moving, for me, is the best part of the Military life we live.

We have been so very blessed with all our previous Military moves in that we have never had any issues.

I have heard so many horror stories. Packers that didn't show. TMO that failed miserably in scheduling. Being FORCED to do a DITY move. Damaged goods. Missing goods. Stolen goods. Kids revolting about a move. No available housing at the new base. No jobs at new base. Cars and trucks breaking down. Luggage lost. Pets lost. Homes don't rent or don't sell.   Etc.  Etc.   If you are a seasoned MilSpouse, you might have a tale or two to share as well.

With our previous moves, we had NONE of those problems. Our packers showed up on time, packed our stuff like they were packing museum pieces, and it all got where it was intended to go with minimal (if any) damage. We never had a problem finding housing- rental or purchase. We did not have issues with the Kiddo. We never had vehicle trouble, flight trouble, luggage, or pet trouble.

 

Then we got orders to PCS this year...

                                                      ...and it has ALL seemed to go so wrong.

 

For every step we take forward, it feels like we are taking five steps back. We had two yard sales before moving. Both of them drew in way more money than we expected to make because we had heard horror stories of haggling yardsalers who tried to rob people blind.  However, in a thriving selling market, our house sat on the market for entirely too long before finally getting an acceptable offer and a subsequent contract. On one hand, we moved out of the old house and into our "in limbo" home (our camper) without a hitch. On the other, within a week of moving in, and during the worst heat at the time for that area, the camper a/c went out.  DH out-processed from his old unit with zero hiccups and we got on the road for our new destination eager and with no problems.  But then a couple hours out, a tire blew forcing us to dish out money we had not expected to and completely altered our travel plans while severely damaging the side of our camper. On one hand, we arrived safe and sound to a beautiful new area where the temperatures might hit the mid-90's and the mountains call us from the near horizon. On the other hand, the camper experienced more issues that require immediate repair, and the place we are camping has only the barest of amenities while charging more and barely taking care of what few amenities there are.

You see- on one hand- this really has been the most difficult move we have made with the Military. One thing after another seems to go wrong, those things listed above are just a small sampling. There is SOOOO much more.  Still, on the other hand, DH and I see these struggles as His hand leading us to Him, forcing us to focus our eyes on Him. Of course, we are still struggling with frustration and worry. I bet that is why He is mixing the pot so well!  

Our prayer... a reminder to ourselves really is this:

"He turned His ear to [our cries throughout all our previous struggles, so we] will call on Him as long as [we] live."

Have you also found yourself in the midst of a struggle, where you felt His hand distinctly in the mix?

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Silver Linings

Yesterday, I posted about the effects of Sequestration. Its a real thing. Its hurting the military ranks. It is also being used as a cop-out, and I am dealing with that aspect of it this week. I am angry- no furious- and frustrated. However, after ranting as much as I am able, and knowing that my ranting will get me nothing more than a headache, while giving everyone around me the impression that I am a hot-head - of course, how would they know anything different, when the first time they deal with me is over their own incompetence? SIGH

 

And there I go again. I am still HOT about the situation, the "reasons," the excuses. Completely let down. Once again, having the military slam it in my face that my family does not matter is a hard pill to swallow. Granted, a bunch of incredible spouses have commiserated, have jumped up and gotten answers for me, and have offered a helping hand. For them I am INCREDIBLY thankful. Yet, no amount of kindness from spouses who can nothing more than exactly that can erase the neglect and disdain from the people who are supposed to also be caring for the families- the leadership.

 

And again... I am completely forgetting WHY I sat down to write this post this morning. Obviously, I need to step back. In prayer this morning, I am trying to let it go. I am trying to turn my gaze away from the frustration. As I laid in bed, with the sunrise streaming through the window, and the cool breeze touching my face, and the birdsong filtering through, I realized I NEED to again call on my practice to count my blessings. There are so VERY many of them.

  

I firmly believe the way my day turns out starts first thing in the morning when I CHOOSE- yes, you read that right- when I CHOOSE to be positive or I CHOOSE to be negative. Yesterday, I allowed the ugly side of the day to get to me, and I chose to cling to that instead of choosing to say my piece and let it go. I CHOSE to get worked up about it. See, there is a difference between having feelings- like my hurt and frustration and anger- and allowing those feelings to control you. Yesterday, I let those feelings control me. And I feel guilt over my words. I threw an adult tantrum. No matter whether I was right or wrong, the way I went about sharing my concerns has likely taped a HUGE label on my forehead. So, today, I CHOOSE to force myself to step away. I CHOOSE to mentally slap myself out of it, and see those silver linings.

 

 First- we live in a place where we actually get rain. Granted, I think we happened to move here in time for the rainy season, but still. We have gotten more rain during the short time that we have lived here, than we have gotten in the past year in San Angelo. And the thunder and the lightening! I tell you what- WOW! I have always loved the raw power of a thunderstorm, and we have seen it several times now since moving here.

Of course, after every afternoon shower or storm, we are blessed with reminders of the silver lining. Reminders of a power that will care for us no matter how people let us down. I have seen this daily reminder of God's promise at least every other day since moving here. I don't think I even saw this many rainbows when we lived in Hawaii! Its incredible!

San Angelo sunsets will never be beat in my opinion. I have seen sunsets on the beaches of Florida. I have seen sunsets from the Appalachians. I have seen sunsets in Hawaii. Now, I have seen sunsets in the Rockies. Of course, each sunset is unique and beautiful. There is no denying that. And while these sunsets over the mountains still take my breath away, and cause my heart to flutter, I still think San Angelo sunsets with their brilliant shades of purples, pinks, and blues are my favorite. And yet, I am consistently drawn to watch the sun set over the mountains every evening.

Ah... The silver linings that actually keep me grounded. My guys. What would I do without them? Both of them had to listen to me rant and rave yesterday. On one side, DH completely agrees. We are definitely in agreement over the disappointment we feel over the situation. However, while I was raring to go jumping up and down on someone's desk, he had already taken a much more calmer stance. After all, and he is right, what will that do? Nothing. So, DH listened, offered his agreements and disagreements, and allowed me to vent, vent, vent. By the time I was done, frankly, I was a bit ashamed of myself, at which point, he knew to simply hug me and be supportive and let the matter drop. --- Now --- the Kiddo... He knows the best way to diffuse Mama Bear is to love on her. Hug her, kiss her, cuddle with her. Throw endless amounts of affection at this Mama and she melts right away. And who doesn't love that?

I know today is a brand new day. While it does not erase yesterday, the problems from yesterday seem much smaller today. Today is fresh, and bright, and new. I have the promise of a God who loves me, of a DH who stands by me, and a Kiddo who is tender and affectionate. I am in a new, beautiful place surrounded with proof of His Majesty and Power. I am in a new place with new people to meet and befriend and develop relationships with. Today is a great day to CHOOSE to be different than I was yesterday.

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To see more of those things that take my breath away, visit my photo page "Where We Live."