52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: Who I Am

I discovered this inspiration from one of my followers (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder).  I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share is not necessarily what everyone wants to read.  So...  I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

Week One: Who I Am

Christian

First and foremost, I am a Christian.  I know that might sound cliche to many of you.  However, this is fact.  I feel love from my God and for my God as tangible as the love I feel for my DH and as intense and heart-consuming as the love I feel for my son.  I was raised in a Christian environment, but learned early on that just because someone says they are a Christian does not mean that is so.  I have spent much of my Christian life (I was saved in the 3rd grade) doing my best to live in His Will, to never stop communicating with Him, and to become less hesitant to share those incredible things He has done in my life.   I hope to reflect Him more in my words and my actions, to include the things I post on my blog.   One thing I hope I can make clear is that being a Christian does not mean I am better than anyone else.  What it means is that I realize I am NOT better, but that I am just as flawed and broken.  I have the same fears, doubts, and struggles as anyone else.  However, I also have joy, faith, hope, and salvation.  All the best things about me are due to my Faith.

MilSpouse

While I am proud of my experience in the Air Force and Air Force Reserves, the hardest military job I have held is that of a MilSpouse.  I love my DH.  He has so many incredible qualities that drew me to him in the first place.  I had this incredible (most of my friends said "impossible") list of qualities I wanted in my husband.  Up till I met DH, the guys I dated barely met a handful of those qualities.  It was a list of 44 criteria, and I was perfectly willing to remain single until I found the one who fit them all, even if that meant I would never marry.  As we dated, and I realized he fit more and more of them, I also found myself falling in love with him.  At some point in our early relationship, I forgot about the list.  It was not till we had been married for several years that I rediscovered the list, and going over it, found he fits ALL 44 criteria plus several more that I did not list.  Now, because he is in the Military, I find myself often without my soul mate and best friend.  That is the hardest part.  I respect him for his sacrifice.  I trust him with my heart.  I honor him as he fulfills his duty to his country.  Yet, I also find myself jealous of the time he spends away.  I sometimes find myself bitter at having to play the roles of both Mom and Dad.  Filling the role of MilSpouse has its own unique set of challenges, and its own set of unique rewards.  Above all, I am just so proud to stand next to DH as he stands up for our Country and the values she still holds dear.

Mom

Nine years ago, my life changed in ways no one could have ever accurately define or describe.  Frankly, I never wanted to have children.  I wanted to go and see and do and be on the move.  Having children often hinders that kind of life.  Plus, I long ago lost faith in the world as a place in which to bring a child up.  Yet, DH and I were surprised to discover I was pregnant (Kiddo was not planned for... LOL).  Funny thing is, while I was (don't judge me too harshly) horrified at the prospect of being a Mom, DH was thrilled to become a Dad.  I carried my fears and doubts all through my pregnancy.  I worried so much that I would be a poor Mom, that I would damage our child, that I would hold him back, that I would not allow him to soar- all fears that I still live with on a day-to-day basis, but fears that I have learned to keep in check.  I was terrified even through the labor pains... Right up until he was born and I got to hold him, all I knew of being a Mom scared the crap out of me.  But holding him in my arms for the first time, and holding his perfect little hand, seeing his perfect little face, all those fears mingled with a love that no one but another Mom can understand.  Suddenly, those fears were not crippling.  Suddenly, those doubts were not all-consuming.  No, they did not go away.  They simply did not matter as much as the huge swelling in my heart- till I felt like it would burst from being so full.  Now, at nine years, I look back and realize, I may not be a perfect Mom, but with every hug, kiss, cuddle, and prayer, I am the best Mom I can be for him.  Now I look back and laugh at the fears and doubts that riddled my pregnancy.

Sister

I grew up a child of a split home.  No- My Dad and Mom were both present throughout my entire childhood, and they are still together today.  What I mean is, I grew up knowing I had three sisters, but because two of them were from a previous marriage, I only knew my biological sister.  I have a very special relationship with my baby sister.  She is my best friend.  She is the one I go to when I need the God-honest truth.  When I need a dose of reality, a kick in the butt, a listening ear, a soothing reminder of God's grace, I call my sister.  She and I may not always see eye-to-eye, but we need each other like grass needs rain, so we keep our differences out in the open, but never in each other's face.  I treasure my relationship with my sister like no other relationship I have ever had with anyone besides my Hubby and my son.  However, I also have two half-sisters.  I knew one of them better than the other, but both were always so far away.  Its only been in the last few years that I have been able to re-establish contact with both of them, and we are slowly building the framework of strong relationships.  I find it so amazing and beautiful that my three sisters are so alike and so different in so many ways, and in comparing those two to my sister and myself, I have found that we resemble each other much more than seems possible!  It is my sincere hope and desire to be able to have a "sister reunion" where we can spend some time face to face and really have a chance to get to know each other. 

The rest of the things that make me who I am are merely definers...  All the following things help define who I am, but I am not bound to any of them.  Some have been part of me since I was little, others I have grown into.

Veteran
I served in the US Air Force for several years.  I started training to be a Linguist, but ended up becoming a Medical Technician.  I served the bulk of my career in San Antonio where I had the pleasure to work with cancer patients and then in a family practice setting.  I also served in the AF Reserves for a few years where I had the opportunity to actually travel quite a bit more than while I was Active Duty.  (Figures, LOL)  Both experiences changed my life, many of my views, and my outlook on the sacrifices our Military Members make every day for a Country that is sometimes very ungrateful.

Bookworm
I have had my nose in a book since I learned how to read.  I read everything except non-fiction (manual type).  While I enjoy all genre's, my favorites lean toward fantasy and science fiction with a select bit of historical fiction.  I abhor romance novels- well, ANY book that romanticizes promiscuity and sex outside of marriage.  I enjoy a good biography or autobiography, and have always had a special fascination with any survivor stories from WWI or WWII or the Holocaust.  My favorite authors include Terry Brooks, Frank Herbert, Pat Frank, Victoria Holt, Tolstoy, H.G. Wells, Tolkein, and so many more...

Author
I have dreamt of writing my own books since I was a girl.  I recently found story ideas that I had jotted down over the years that span all the way back to high school.  Some of the stories were inspired by books that changed my way of thinking, or books that challenged me to think outside the box, and others that just caused me to really stop and think about something I had never considered before.  Currently, I am co-writing a fiction book.  On top of that I am working on two different Bible Studies intended for women associated with the Military.  Then I have two of my own novels that I am working on when I have time.  Someday, I hope to see my work in print (or ebook).  I think I have talent and imagination when it comes to telling a story, but time will tell.  If nothing else, the formation of the characters and the plot is something I really enjoy bringing all together- bringing the story to life.

Photographer
I am rarely without my camera.  It is nothing fancy, and I have had absolutely zero training or education when it comes to photography.  However, I love snapping pictures of my favorite people and of God's creation.  I look at nature as proof of His love and devotion.  If He took such great pains to create such perfectly balanced, perfectly designed systems like we see in the human body, the life cycle of a plant, and the cycles of nature, how much more does He do for us without us ever realizing it?  Capturing creation on film reminds me everyday of the wonder and majesty of this world around us, as flawed as it has become under our care.  For samples of my photography please click on the tab above: Where We Live.

Nature Lover

Not to be confused with a tree-hugger, or a hippie, because I am neither.  I simply adore the world our God has created for us.  I may not like the damage humanity has wreaked on our planet.  I may not understand much of the logic that has driven men to take and take and take with no thoughts to our future generations, because Biblically, we are stewards of this planet, not takers.  I can not look at nature and not see God's hand in the details.  The immense amount of detail to make it all work did NOT just happen by accident.  My love of nature is, I hope, reflected in my amateur photography.  My little strides in conservation, using less to allow more for future generations, may not seem like a lot to environmentalists, but they are what they are.  I have plans to take bigger strides in the name of conservation, but each transition takes time and adjustment.   

Hermit

I am a multi-faceted person...  There is so much more to me than many people see because another huge characteristic that makes me who I am is that I am a hermit.  I shy away from most people, even those I care for deeply.  I do not like to be seen when I am pain, when I am struggling, and when I feel weak.  On the flip side, I also just enjoy most the company of my loved ones in the surroundings in which I am most comfortable- my home.  There are very few other places where I can sincerely feel like I can be myself, where I am comfortable sitting, relaxing, and sharing.  This tendency has cost me dearly many incredible friendships, for which I am sad, but on the flip side, so many other friendships have met me where I am and have truly stepped in to fill the sometimes huge gaps that I create.  (Its my hermit tendencies that keep me from making "Friend" one of the words that describe me, because in my own estimation of myself, I consider myself hard to be friends with.)

Again, there is so much more to me than can be shared in one single blog post.  But thank you for coming and reading and learning a little about me.  I have enjoyed sharing about myself.  Please be sure to check out the two delightful blogs I mentioned up near the top.  I am sure you will enjoy them as much as I have.