52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: I Said I Would Never

In continuing on this 52 week journey with so many other bloggers, I hope you will visit the blog that started it all. From From Mrs. to Mama is a really fantastic site kept by an incredibly articulate young woman.

I said I would never....

I know many of us can relate. Before we are parents, we swear we will be different from our parents, we will be better than this or that, we will be more strict, less strict, more easy going, the lists go on and on.

For me, some of the things I said I would never do I do actually try to stick to. My life is a series of contradictions. I am painfully aware of that. However, for better or worse, this is my life.

One thing I said I would never do is force my child to eat something he does not like. However, he MUST first try a food before he can choose whether he likes it or not. He cannot just look at a new food or recipe and decide from its appearance that he does not like it. No. He must try at least three bites of the new food. Then, if he decides he truly does not like it, I will allow him to eat around it. This rule has kept him eating veggies, has allowed him to try new foods that I see other children turn their noses up at, and has carried over into life lessons- new activities, new people, new places, etc.

I said I would never force my child to believe the same as me. This is a HUGE issue and struggle for me. As a Christian, I want my son to become a Christian as well. However, most of my childhood I was forced into a belief set that both helped and hindered my spiritual growth, and ultimately caused huge rifts within my family. This is a struggle for me also because as a Christian, I believe it is my duty to minister to my child, to teach him of God's love, grace, and mercy, to help him understand what sin it and how salvation affects us. The struggle is knowing where the line is drawn between teaching and coercing. My child KNOWS how I long for him to become a Christian. He knows how important that is to me. He also knows I will not force him and I will not stop loving him should he choose to (deep sigh) believe otherwise.((Wow, that is so hard to write... wow...))

I said I would never have children... Well... Obviously, I messed that one up! LOL Seriously, I never wanted my own children. From teen years on, I wanted to adopt. There are so many children out there in need of loving homes- from all over the world- but the Lord chose to surprise me and bless me with my Kiddo, my angel... I happily eat those words. :)

I said I would never lie to my child. It is relatively easy to be honest with friends and family as an adult. If you feel you can't be completely honest about something (to spare feelings), you simply walk away, change the subject, whatever. (Don't get all self-righteous on me claiming you ALWAYS tell the truth. You KNOW you have that one friend or family member, where you keep your true feelings hidden to spare their feelings.) However, when it comes to being honest to my child, as a parent I have found honesty is sometimes very hard. There are some questions I just cannot answer. I try to say exactly that, but sometimes there are situations where even a delaying answer is a form of a lie, a form of evasion. I hate to admit that I have lied to my child. I have a million and one justifications for those lies of ommission, white lies, or lies of evasion. Still- no matter how I slice it- I feel like a horrible mom.

I said I would never be like my Mom! HA! Don't get me wrong, my Mom is who I give much credit as to the woman I am today. However, like we all can, I can look over my childhood and point out all the things- large and small- that my Mom did wrong. So when I said I would never be like my Mom, I meant I would not make those same mistakes. I was right. To a point. However, I make my own mistakes that I have no idea how to fix, and I am certain my Kiddo will look back on his childhood and say he will never be like me or DH. Then one day, like I am doing more and more often now as my Kiddo gets older, he will find himself saying something I would have said, or doing something the way his Daddy would have done it. Then, like I am realizing, he will realize that being like Mom and Dad is not so bad really.

I am sure there are other things I have said I would never do... That I have found myself doing anyway. Or maybe I have stuck to it, and have just realized how incredibly hard it is to stick to those things. One thing I am learning, no matter what I said in the past, its okay to be wrong, to admit it, and to change my mind. Life is too unpredictable, too chaotic sometimes. If I cannot change along the way, how will I ever be able to teach my Kiddo to roll with the punches?

*****************************

If you liked this post, or any others you read while visiting A God-Blessed Life, please let me know by clicking on the "Top Mommy Blogs" button in the right column.

As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment sharing your thoughts or sharing your blog!

*****************************

Tribute to My Air Force Brat

Okay... He really is not a "brat."  In fact, he is quite the opposite.

This little boy has changed my life in ways I never dreamed.  I know every Mom knows what I am talking about, whether she has one child or multiple children- a child changes a woman's outlook on life.  Then as the child grows, they change a woman's life- completely and utterly.

Almost nine years ago, this little guy could not wait to make his appearance.  So he decided to make his debut into this world almost five weeks early.  The pregnancy is not one I would have called "difficult" despite the fact I was still Active Duty at the time; the stress of working ten hour days clearly took its toll on me, and I think my little guy knew my body could take no more.

Not long after he was born, his Active Duty Daddy had to PCS on an unaccompanied tour to South Korea for year.  While Daddy was gone, my outlook on life changed completely.  I remember picking up my little miracle from a dear friend's home after work one evening.  It was late.  The Kiddo was attached to my friend and didn't want to leave.  Then when we got home, I got a measly hour with him before he conked out for the night. 

As I held him, marveling over his perfect face, tiny fingers, and tiny toes, I realized I had no business letting anyone else care for God's gift to ME.  The decision to leave Active Duty was only hard when it came to discussing it with my Hubby who was thousands of miles away, hoping he would understand my desperation to truly care for our child.  Thank God, DH loved me and trusted me enough to take a leap of faith, even though it meant we were going to struggle financially.

From that moment on, I became full-time Mommy. 

I watched this angel from Heaven grow and learn. 

His smile could buoy my heart, and his tears could tear my world apart.

I have watched this little boy work through situations that other children would have just given up on.

I have had discussions with this little boy that I have not even had with other adults.

I have been blown away by his observations of people and the world.

I am humbled by his sweet nature and his faith in things unseen.

I am awed by his imagination and his wonder.

His boundless energy and enthusiasm astound and exhaust me.

His never ending desire to learn something new keeps me on my toes and inspires me to keep learning.

I know that military life is not easy for children.  Up till recently, our kiddo has not had any issues with moving, with TDY's, or with deployments.  This time though, with a PCS coming up, he has had more questions.  He has voiced his concerns and his fears, and I realized for the first time that my own excitement to move on did not take into account my tender hearted boy.

I have no doubts that this little boy will tuck away his fears and put on the smile he wears so easily.   I know he will put on his tough skin, push away the urge to cry, and play a part he thinks we want him to play.

Whether that is right or wrong, I think this varies for every child and every family. 

But I honor him today for all his incredible talents. 

I honor him for choosing to be happy in a life he has no control over.  

I honor him for choosing to love and learn, to have a positive outlook despite the lingering questions and fears. 

I honor him for doing what military kids do- they just do it.

To my precious blessing- I love you!

An Entrepreneur In the House

Disclaimer: While I support my Kiddo in this little venture of his, I am fiercely protective of both him and his childhood.  His school time, playtime, and family time come first!  Period.  This may mean orders are delayed, but I will not let him sacrifice his childhood. 

Since last summer, my Kiddo has been complaining about the laptop he was given; a laptop as old as he is that his father no longer uses.  We gave it to him so he could play educational games, watch movies while he was sick, and just to get familiar with computer systems (as he already uses computers at school).  The laptop, again, is as old as the kiddo.  While nothing is wrong with the computer itself except for its ancient operating system, the battery has long been shot.  The battery is so fried, that even keeping the computer plugged directly into the wall will only guarantee fifteen uninterrupted minutes of use. 

We did not realize how bad the problem was until just after Christmas when we agreed to set up super strict parental controls on the laptop so that the Kiddo could start playing the very popular Minecraft (think Legos online).  Just setting up the Internet options and parental controls had me (the one setting it all up) swearing under my breath.  There were moments I was tempted to just chuck the thing in the trash.  Still, I worked my way through it, trying to show my Kiddo how to be patient with old technology.

Still, the computer has kept him more frazzled than entertained or helped.  So he asked if we would sell that old one and buy him a new one.  The resounding answer was "no."  We cannot afford to, even if we wanted to.  Still, the Kiddo (getting two good stubborn traits from both DH and myself) kept bugging me about it.  Finally, wanting him to just let it go, I told him that if he wanted a new computer he would have to raise his own money for it.  (Lesson learned- THINK about what you say to your stubborn child--- He WILL take you serious!!!)

Seriously.  I thought he would just lose interest.  What 8 year old wants to raise at least $300 for a decent laptop?  None.  Right?

Not him.   Little stinker decided he would start thinking of ways he could make his own money.  Some of his ideas were great, but he is too young for (yard work- mowing, weed eating, etc).  Some of his other ideas were right out of a typical 8 year old's mind (build a robot to help Mom's with their chores....  LOVE it!)  Finally, he hit on one that I could encourage him on and help him with- make homemade doggie treats and sell them.

Yes, DH and I both helped steer his idea in ways we hope will help him be most successful in reaching his goals.  However, the idea is his.  The concept is his. 

Yes, DH and I help him fill his orders.  I am his full-time Marketing Mommy.  I advertise for him.  I collect his orders.  I have set up a FB page for his little business.  I make sure he doesn't miss orders.   In other areas, DH and I help fill in the gaps.  We do any and all cutting that needs to be done.  We put the treats in the oven and take them out for him.  We get him to the client's homes so he can deliver their orders.

Everything else, he does himself.  He chose the ingredients he uses.  He mixes the ingredients.  He rolls out the dough (sometimes with help) and he cuts the treats out.  Once the treats have cooled, he counts them out and packages them for delivery.

This little venture has taught me alot about my Kiddo.  He is stubborn, but in a good way.  He is motivated.  He is diligent.  And he is EIGHT.  He still wants to play.  He still get distracted.  He still wants to weasel his way out of things.  But where this little business is concerned, he may as well be 21 years old.

Now, after I was teaching him about tithing, because his early success is nothing short of a miracle, he is considering making treats to take to the local animal shelter and donating a portion of his money to Boy Scouts of America.  He is thoughtful in making decisions, so he has not chosen one or the other, or both, yet.

I am very proud of my Kiddo.  I am also trying to be very understanding of him, while still making him meet his responsibilities, accomplish his chores, maintain his schoolwork, and still be a fun-loving Kiddo.  I want him to succeed, but not at the cost of his childhood.

Frankly, if he learns only one lesson from this, I hope that he learns that we MUST work for our dreams to come true.  Handouts are never free.  One cannot expect respect when all they do is beg and whine.  I think he is on the right track.  :)

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

If you are interested in learning more about the Kiddo's business venture, please visit: http://www.facebook.com/BordensBiscuits

If you wish to place an order, please follow the directions there.  Also, as stated above, please keep in mind, I am protecting his childhood first, so there may be a delay on your order depending on the activities our family has planned.  However, you WILL receive your order, and your doggie will love them!  :)