When the Spirit Speaks...

I was going to write about "Customs and Courtesies" today- specifically proper procedures when outside during the playing of Reveille and Retreat.  However, this morning, as I was driving out to our new hometown to register the Kiddo for school, I was listening to K-Love...  And was overwhelmed with the Holy Spirit.

The first song, that I was able to sing all the way through without choking up, was "10,000 Reasons" by Matt Redman.   The song speaks to me of all the blessings He has granted to me.  So many more than I deserve.

The next song was "Hurricane" by Natalie Grant.  Previously, the song has not meant much to me.  I listened.  I hummed along.   But, this morning, the song hit home... and the Holy Spirit spoke to me reminding me that we are on the precipice, and He is there to catch us and lift us, even in the midst of the hurricane swirling around us right now.

Then came on Plumb's "Need You Now."  I love Plumb.  Plumb has been one of my favorite CCM artists for many, many years.  This song is no different.  Yet this morning as I tried to sing along, I could not.  Suddenly overcome with feelings and emotions that had no trigger- proof of the Holy Spirit getting my attention, all I could do was listen- listen to the musical reminder to just call out to Him.

Finally, the song that threw me over the edge, almost forcing me to pull over because I was so overcome with conviction, direction, hope, and promise was "Praise You In This Storm" by Casting Crowns.  Also one of my favorite songs.  A song I recommend to many of my friends and family as they are walking through their own struggles, the Lord used it on me- to minister to me. To remind me of His Presence even when I could swear He has stepped back.

This morning, the Holy Spirit spoke.  I have not experienced His presence so strong in a very long time.  The incredible awe and wonder ...  the complete immersion in the Presence of God... even there on an Interstate surrounded by other travelers eager to get to their destinations... even there with no Bible handy...  Even there...  There He met ME and held me close.  Today, He reminded me of His promise that He is with me no matter what.

Praise God!

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Silver Linings

Yesterday, I posted about the effects of Sequestration. Its a real thing. Its hurting the military ranks. It is also being used as a cop-out, and I am dealing with that aspect of it this week. I am angry- no furious- and frustrated. However, after ranting as much as I am able, and knowing that my ranting will get me nothing more than a headache, while giving everyone around me the impression that I am a hot-head - of course, how would they know anything different, when the first time they deal with me is over their own incompetence? SIGH

 

And there I go again. I am still HOT about the situation, the "reasons," the excuses. Completely let down. Once again, having the military slam it in my face that my family does not matter is a hard pill to swallow. Granted, a bunch of incredible spouses have commiserated, have jumped up and gotten answers for me, and have offered a helping hand. For them I am INCREDIBLY thankful. Yet, no amount of kindness from spouses who can nothing more than exactly that can erase the neglect and disdain from the people who are supposed to also be caring for the families- the leadership.

 

And again... I am completely forgetting WHY I sat down to write this post this morning. Obviously, I need to step back. In prayer this morning, I am trying to let it go. I am trying to turn my gaze away from the frustration. As I laid in bed, with the sunrise streaming through the window, and the cool breeze touching my face, and the birdsong filtering through, I realized I NEED to again call on my practice to count my blessings. There are so VERY many of them.

  

I firmly believe the way my day turns out starts first thing in the morning when I CHOOSE- yes, you read that right- when I CHOOSE to be positive or I CHOOSE to be negative. Yesterday, I allowed the ugly side of the day to get to me, and I chose to cling to that instead of choosing to say my piece and let it go. I CHOSE to get worked up about it. See, there is a difference between having feelings- like my hurt and frustration and anger- and allowing those feelings to control you. Yesterday, I let those feelings control me. And I feel guilt over my words. I threw an adult tantrum. No matter whether I was right or wrong, the way I went about sharing my concerns has likely taped a HUGE label on my forehead. So, today, I CHOOSE to force myself to step away. I CHOOSE to mentally slap myself out of it, and see those silver linings.

 

 First- we live in a place where we actually get rain. Granted, I think we happened to move here in time for the rainy season, but still. We have gotten more rain during the short time that we have lived here, than we have gotten in the past year in San Angelo. And the thunder and the lightening! I tell you what- WOW! I have always loved the raw power of a thunderstorm, and we have seen it several times now since moving here.

Of course, after every afternoon shower or storm, we are blessed with reminders of the silver lining. Reminders of a power that will care for us no matter how people let us down. I have seen this daily reminder of God's promise at least every other day since moving here. I don't think I even saw this many rainbows when we lived in Hawaii! Its incredible!

San Angelo sunsets will never be beat in my opinion. I have seen sunsets on the beaches of Florida. I have seen sunsets from the Appalachians. I have seen sunsets in Hawaii. Now, I have seen sunsets in the Rockies. Of course, each sunset is unique and beautiful. There is no denying that. And while these sunsets over the mountains still take my breath away, and cause my heart to flutter, I still think San Angelo sunsets with their brilliant shades of purples, pinks, and blues are my favorite. And yet, I am consistently drawn to watch the sun set over the mountains every evening.

Ah... The silver linings that actually keep me grounded. My guys. What would I do without them? Both of them had to listen to me rant and rave yesterday. On one side, DH completely agrees. We are definitely in agreement over the disappointment we feel over the situation. However, while I was raring to go jumping up and down on someone's desk, he had already taken a much more calmer stance. After all, and he is right, what will that do? Nothing. So, DH listened, offered his agreements and disagreements, and allowed me to vent, vent, vent. By the time I was done, frankly, I was a bit ashamed of myself, at which point, he knew to simply hug me and be supportive and let the matter drop. --- Now --- the Kiddo... He knows the best way to diffuse Mama Bear is to love on her. Hug her, kiss her, cuddle with her. Throw endless amounts of affection at this Mama and she melts right away. And who doesn't love that?

I know today is a brand new day. While it does not erase yesterday, the problems from yesterday seem much smaller today. Today is fresh, and bright, and new. I have the promise of a God who loves me, of a DH who stands by me, and a Kiddo who is tender and affectionate. I am in a new, beautiful place surrounded with proof of His Majesty and Power. I am in a new place with new people to meet and befriend and develop relationships with. Today is a great day to CHOOSE to be different than I was yesterday.

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To see more of those things that take my breath away, visit my photo page "Where We Live."

Regarding the Boston Tragedy

Copied from my Facebook page:

"In talking to the Kiddo about the tragic events from yesterday, I asked him to pray with me for the people in Boston. Before we could start, he asked me if God couldn't stop these kinds of things from happening.  

My response was this: Yes. God COULD stop all the horrible events in this world. However, we were created with free will. We were created to choose to do the right thing or the wrong thing. For every decision we make, we face the consequences, good and bad. Sometimes, people choose to be bad, to make bad decisions, and those decisions affect innocent people. God COULD stop that, but that would strip us of our free will. God COULD allow only good things to happen, but then we would not need Him, we would not value all He has given us, we would have no value for life, or love, or freedom. 

In stark contrast to the horrifying loss of life, and the damage inflicted on so many other lives, I have the choice to focus on the terror and fear of the event, or I can choose to focus on the way people have stepped up, the way prayers were asked for immediately, the way complete strangers jumped to help others, the way ordinary men and women ran to help. I choose to focus on the way the BEST of humanity responded to the tragic event, and I praise God for those people who CHOSE to respond with love, hope, and help."[edited]

Let us pray for the men, women, and children affected by yesterday's events.  Let us focus on the bravery of those who stepped up to help.  Let us focus on the help given, the love shown, the hope offered.

God bless!

 

 

 

Gypsy Spirit Contained

A dream of mine has long been to live in the mountains. 

I remember a Youth Group trip I went on when I was in Middle School.  As we were driving through the Appalachian Mountains and I was awestruck by His handiwork, I got into a debate with a friend.  I had said in my exuberance that someday I would own a mountain.  My friend argued that I could not own a mountain. 

I laugh now.

Regardless of whether I ever own a mountain, I certainly never lost the desire to live in the mountains.  I picture a place far removed from "civilization" with its hustle and bustle, the rat race, the consumerism, and the politics that drive me batty.  However, this desire to settle in this mind's eye picture perfect setting clashes completely with my personality.

You see, I am a gypsy at heart.  I cannot stand to be in one place for very long.  I want to move all the time.  When I was a child, we moved four times before I was eight years old.  Maybe that is how this urge to move set in.  However, once we got to our new home in Florida, my parents had found their "heaven on earth" and have been there ever since.  During the rest of my childhood there, up until I went to college, I was hungry for change.  I felt it so deeply that by the time I did leave, I had grown to really abhor the entire area.  To this day, even when I am visiting the pieces of my heart (my sister and her family) there, I cannot stand to stay for very long.  Even while I am there, my entire body longs to be leaving.

Once I moved away to college, I was able to enact the changes I longed for.  I moved within three dorms in three semesters.  Even that was not enough to make up for the years of staying in one place.  My room, if I didn't have a roommate, changed on almost a monthly basis.  This carried on when I joined the Air Force.  My tech school rooms continually changed how they were set up (well, until regulations came down saying our rooms had to be set up a particular way.)  Even once I got to my first assignment.  I moved three times in three years, from one apartment to another, and then in with my hubby.  From there, I have slowed down quite a bit based on our assignments with military and because I can no longer just up and move.

Now, we have been assigned here for a four year tour.  This is the first time since moving away from home, that I have remained in one home for longer than a year.  Four years into this move, I am feeling that gypsy spirit start to revolt.  I long for the next move.  I long for it so much that my home is about to be turned upside down!  I keep planning rearranging the rooms.  I joked with my husband that one day he is going to come home and find the furniture nailed to the ceiling.

The itch to get to the next place is so strong. 

Don't get me wrong.  I love the community we live in.  I love the base we are assigned to.  I love the city here, and the country surrounding it.  In general, if my heart wasn't calling for the mountains, I would not mind staying here forever.....  So long as we could travel- alot! 

The military lifestyle has proven so good for my gypsy spirit.  However, now there are things that DH and I are having to face that could prove to change our lives in ways we were not expecting.  Certainly in ways we are not remotely prepared for.  Part of those changes could mean that we will be here much longer, maybe indefinitely.  This is incredibly frustrating for me because we have already been contemplating our next move.  My gypsy blood has been stirred, and is ready to purge, pack, and move on.

To consider staying ... to say that my heart has deflated is an understatement.  So for now, I have to confine the gypsy in me, as I pray for His guidance, will, and patience as we see what we do from here. 

Promises Fulfilled

People say not to count your chicks before they are hatched. 

Typically, I try not to, because while I always have hope that something great and new is on the horizon, I also realize that whatever it is on the horizon may not fit "my" idea of great and new.

In Jeremiah 29, Jeremiah sent a letter to those who were still exiled in Babylon.  His letter was one of promise and of hope, that the Lord Himself promised to intervene and return His people to their home!  After such a long time, no doubt the Lord's people had to have felt forgotten.  How they must have worried!  How they must have grieved!  I have no doubts that they were still faithful in their beliefs, but they must have been despairing, or the Lord would not have inspired Jeremiah to sent this letter!

Today, many of us know the following verse:
"For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."  Jeremiah 29 v 11

We use this verse as a daily mantra.  We add it to our prayers.  Preachers use this as a foundation for so many sermons.  Musicians sing songs based on it!  This verse stands alone quite well as a promise of hope!

I grew up having this verse committed to memory.  Granted, now, as I struggle day to day to remember the simplest things, I have to look this verse up to read it because I no longer remember it word for word.  (Thank goodness for the Bible app on my phone!)

This morning, as I was contemplating how quickly the Lord answers prayer, this verse came to mind.  You see, after I finished writing "In the Light" on Tuesday, He answered my struggle and my effort with legitimate job offers that I had only ever dreamed I would get!  Plus, two of the four projects are from fellow Christians, asking for me to work from that frame of mind!  I was and am completely blown away and humbled by HIS faithfulness to ME!   I have been in reflection ever since- thankful on one hand, hopeful on the other, and trying not to pay attention to our "wise" adage about counting our chicks.

Its in light of counting those chicks that I dove into Jeremiah 29 this morning. 

I am not an advocate for most "promise" preaching.  I think many "promise preachers" have gone over board causing men and women to believe that God WILL grant us treasures and wealth while we are here on earth, during our earthly life.  While I DO believe He does this for SOME people, and that He DOES fulfill small promises in for EVERY person at different points in their lives, I do not think that the promises He gave us were meant for this life so much as for the next- otherwise the value of Christ's sacrifice is diminished- for what need have we of treasures in Heaven when we have already been given them here?  So, I think "promise preaching" can be very misleading, planting false hope, and distracting us from our purpose in His will. 

Whew--- sorry about the tangent there--- please keep in mind, the above is just my opinion.

Anyway, I dove into Jeremiah 29, because while I do not believe He promises to just GIVE us everything we dream for during this life, He does promise "hope and a future."  What's interesting is if you continue on through the next two verses, He also tells us when we see His plan in action, it will cause us to turn even more to Him!

So let's look at these verses together:
^"11 For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the Lord, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future. ¹² Then you will call on me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you. ¹³ You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart." Jeremiah 29 v 11-13

How true this is for me since Tuesday!  I am like anyone else... I tend to pray harder and more sincerely when I am hurting or needful in some way.  I am a pray-er in that I never cease praying.  A valuable lesson from my Mom- I pray with every breathe I take, so conversations with God are very real to me.  Yet, I still note that I pray harder and more sincerely when I am in need.  Granted, there is nothing wrong with this, because turning to Him when we truly need help is RIGHT!  Yet, as I look over my praying conversations, I feel a little guilty.  No matter how hard I try to be thankful first, and needy last, my prayers are riddled more with "please" than they are with "thank you."

But since Tuesday, when He answered the promise of Jeremiah 29 v 11 so quickly and so obviously, I found that verses 12 and 13 became immediate truth as I hit my knees in awe and thankfulness for His interference on my behalf!

No, I am not going to become a millionaire with the opportunities He has given me.  I will be amply blessed to make enough from these projects to be able to pay my car payment.  But what more do I need?  He KNOWS how much my family needs to LIVE.  He KNOWS how much He has already given us, and how much more responsibility we can handle.  Yet, He still gives, and He gives KNOWING the plan He has for me, for my family, and for our future.  He gives perfectly according to His promise.

And I praise Him!!!  Who cares about those chicks when I have a loving and faithful God?