52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: What Being A Mom Looks Like

In continuing on this 52 week journey with so many other bloggers, I hope you will visit the blog that started it all. From From Mrs. to Mama is a really fantastic site kept by an incredibly articulate young woman.

 

Instead of trying to put into words what can so easily be shown in pictures, I decided to share just a few...  I think they speak for themselves.  

 

 

 

 

He is one of the greatest blessings in my life... When all else seems like its falling apart, when I forget how much God loves me, all I have to do is look at this angel He brought into my life...  How privileged I am to be Mommy to this Kiddo. 

 

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If you liked this post, or any others you read while visiting A God-Blessed Life, please let me know by clicking on the "Top Mommy Blogs" button in the right column.

As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment sharing your thoughts or sharing your blog!

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52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: I Said I Would Never

In continuing on this 52 week journey with so many other bloggers, I hope you will visit the blog that started it all. From From Mrs. to Mama is a really fantastic site kept by an incredibly articulate young woman.

I said I would never....

I know many of us can relate. Before we are parents, we swear we will be different from our parents, we will be better than this or that, we will be more strict, less strict, more easy going, the lists go on and on.

For me, some of the things I said I would never do I do actually try to stick to. My life is a series of contradictions. I am painfully aware of that. However, for better or worse, this is my life.

One thing I said I would never do is force my child to eat something he does not like. However, he MUST first try a food before he can choose whether he likes it or not. He cannot just look at a new food or recipe and decide from its appearance that he does not like it. No. He must try at least three bites of the new food. Then, if he decides he truly does not like it, I will allow him to eat around it. This rule has kept him eating veggies, has allowed him to try new foods that I see other children turn their noses up at, and has carried over into life lessons- new activities, new people, new places, etc.

I said I would never force my child to believe the same as me. This is a HUGE issue and struggle for me. As a Christian, I want my son to become a Christian as well. However, most of my childhood I was forced into a belief set that both helped and hindered my spiritual growth, and ultimately caused huge rifts within my family. This is a struggle for me also because as a Christian, I believe it is my duty to minister to my child, to teach him of God's love, grace, and mercy, to help him understand what sin it and how salvation affects us. The struggle is knowing where the line is drawn between teaching and coercing. My child KNOWS how I long for him to become a Christian. He knows how important that is to me. He also knows I will not force him and I will not stop loving him should he choose to (deep sigh) believe otherwise.((Wow, that is so hard to write... wow...))

I said I would never have children... Well... Obviously, I messed that one up! LOL Seriously, I never wanted my own children. From teen years on, I wanted to adopt. There are so many children out there in need of loving homes- from all over the world- but the Lord chose to surprise me and bless me with my Kiddo, my angel... I happily eat those words. :)

I said I would never lie to my child. It is relatively easy to be honest with friends and family as an adult. If you feel you can't be completely honest about something (to spare feelings), you simply walk away, change the subject, whatever. (Don't get all self-righteous on me claiming you ALWAYS tell the truth. You KNOW you have that one friend or family member, where you keep your true feelings hidden to spare their feelings.) However, when it comes to being honest to my child, as a parent I have found honesty is sometimes very hard. There are some questions I just cannot answer. I try to say exactly that, but sometimes there are situations where even a delaying answer is a form of a lie, a form of evasion. I hate to admit that I have lied to my child. I have a million and one justifications for those lies of ommission, white lies, or lies of evasion. Still- no matter how I slice it- I feel like a horrible mom.

I said I would never be like my Mom! HA! Don't get me wrong, my Mom is who I give much credit as to the woman I am today. However, like we all can, I can look over my childhood and point out all the things- large and small- that my Mom did wrong. So when I said I would never be like my Mom, I meant I would not make those same mistakes. I was right. To a point. However, I make my own mistakes that I have no idea how to fix, and I am certain my Kiddo will look back on his childhood and say he will never be like me or DH. Then one day, like I am doing more and more often now as my Kiddo gets older, he will find himself saying something I would have said, or doing something the way his Daddy would have done it. Then, like I am realizing, he will realize that being like Mom and Dad is not so bad really.

I am sure there are other things I have said I would never do... That I have found myself doing anyway. Or maybe I have stuck to it, and have just realized how incredibly hard it is to stick to those things. One thing I am learning, no matter what I said in the past, its okay to be wrong, to admit it, and to change my mind. Life is too unpredictable, too chaotic sometimes. If I cannot change along the way, how will I ever be able to teach my Kiddo to roll with the punches?

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If you liked this post, or any others you read while visiting A God-Blessed Life, please let me know by clicking on the "Top Mommy Blogs" button in the right column.

As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment sharing your thoughts or sharing your blog!

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52 Weeks Of Blogging With A Purpose: A Letter to the New Mom

I discovered this inspiration from a fellow blogger (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder). I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read. So... I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

"Dear New Mommy,

Congratulations on your beautiful bundle of wrinkled skin and ear-piercing cries!  Don't worry, Mama.  All too soon that wrinkled skin will smooth out, and those cries will turn into sweet coos and giggles.  Savor the feel of those tiny fingers as they wrap around your one.  Cherish the feel of your baby's skin against your own.  Whether or not you breast-feed or choose to use formula, those moments where you cuddle with your baby while they suckle will disappear all to quickly.  Don't worry about the chores that don't get done.  Don't worry about the friends whose calls go unanswered.  It is okay to let the world vanish as you spend your first weeks and months getting to know your baby.

As you work your way into the world and introduce your baby to your friends, your family, the errands that consumed your life before, take it slow.  Speak to your baby.  Sing to your baby.  Read to your baby.  But when you need a few minutes to yourself, do not be afraid to leave your baby safely in their crib, even if they are wailing the blues.  Take the time to shave your legs.  Make the time to fix your hair.  Those twenty minutes of time to yourself will help you feel better about your new body, even as you work to shape it back to what it once was.

Take every offer of advice, including that in this letter, with a grain of salt.  Do your own research.  Try your own methods.  Some of the advice given will work like a charm.  Some of it can be dismissed out of hand, because no one knows the dynamic between you and your baby like you do.  Follow your instincts where your baby is concerned, and pay no mind to those other Mommies who think their way is the only way.

Remember that now that you are a Mommy, some friends will disappear.  That is okay.  New friends will come along, not to take those old friend's places, but to fill in the needs you have now.  Remember that your priorities are likely to change, and that is okay as well.  There is no rule book to follow.   You choose.

Don't be afraid of being imperfect.  Your mom was not perfect.  Her mom was not perfect.  No mom in the history of mankind was perfect.  Do not hold yourself to expectations that will ultimately frustrate you and cause you to focus on that more than on the care and upbringing of your baby.

Finally, dear Mommy, if you are a woman of Faith, make every moment a reflection of your faith in God.  Let your baby feel your love, compassion, faith, hope, trust, and respect for a being outside yourself.  Let them see you pray.  Let them hear you praise.  Let them see you reading the Bible.  Let them sit on your lap in church.  Let them know without a doubt that our Lord is real and with us in every moment.

Congratulations again, dear Mommy!  God bless you and your newest, tangible blessing!"

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If you liked this post, or any others you read while visiting A God-Blessed Life, please let me know by clicking on the "Top Mommy Blogs" button in the right column.

As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment sharing your thoughts or sharing your blog!

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52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: Goals For Motherhood

I discovered this inspiration from a fellow blogger (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder). I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read. So... I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

This week's topic: Goals for Motherhood

Um... Okay... Where to start. Like most Moms, I imagine my goals are set with the best of intentions. Like many Moms, I have seen myself fall short of my goals. I have realized some goals are impossible to achieve as I am imperfect. I have realized some goals are impractical and need to be changed as my child grows and changes.

My first goal is to be an incredible wife to my child's father. It is important to me that my son see what true love, devotion, commitment, respect, and trust are. These are things he should see and experience at home before he seeks it out in the world. By striving to be an incredible, note- I did not say perfect, wife to my DH, I hope I will also show my son the qualities he should look for someday when he starts looking at young ladies to date and marry. I hope he is able to see past our imperfections and see the love we have for each other as the years go by.

My second goal is to remember that my son is not a number. Just because he is a certain age does not mean I cannot expect more from him, or allow him to act immaturely sometimes. Just because he is going into a certain grade in school does not mean he is not ready for education well beyond that age-classing, or responsibilities typically reserved for much older children. He has already proven he is wise beyond his years, but with the heart and playfulness sometimes of a toddler. I hope to remember to react to his personality as a whole and not based on how old he is.

My third goal is to give my son the tools he needs to learn how to fly. Of course, every Mom wants to see their children succeed. However, I see more and more Moms throw everything they have at their children to force their success- whether its in school projects, sports, beauty pageants, dances, etc. I think that is all great and good, but I think for my son, the best way to allow him to grow and enjoy success is to give him the tools he needs, teach him how to use them, and step back and watch him go. I want him to work for what he wants. I want him to understand that a free-ride is never free- if he isn't paying for it, someone else IS. I don't want him to accept pity, charity, and handouts. I want him to take pride in his work- whatever that work may be. I want him to learn work ethics that build up rather than tear down. I honestly beleive I will get more enjoyment from watching him fly on his own than if I have to carry him the entire way. However, on the flip side, I hope I also give him the ability to handle failure when he fails at something, and the courage to get up and try again.

My fourth goal is to make time with my son a priority. Working from home has proven that I work harder to make less money (at least for now as I am building my own business) in order to be at home with my son. I do not mind, but I tend to find myself caught up in work to the detriment of quality time with the Kiddo. I see this as a problem especially now while school is still out, and I struggle to balance my time so my clients remain satisfied with my time tables, and my son does not feel neglected. For now, I am using my time working from home to teach him, to guide him, and to share my work with him. Doing this has opened doors in his mind to new interests as he explored "imitating Mama."

My final goal, and the most important, is to lead a Godly example for him to follow. DH and I are both Christians, and we both make every attempt to include the Kiddo in discussions about the Bible, about God, about Jesus, and everything our faith means to us. Our hope is not just that our son also becomes a Christian, but that he realizes the miracle of salvation and grace, and that in the deepest and darkest days of his life, he will be able to feel our Lord's embrace.

There a myriad other goals I strive for as a Mother. Too many too list, so many I cannot even remember them all. One thing I know- my goals for motherhood will probably vary from other Moms. The order of importance I place on my goals will differ from those another Mom makes.

That is okay. Being a Mom is not a competition. The minute it becomes one- we are doing something very wrong.

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If you liked this post, or any others you read while visiting A God-Blessed Life, please let me know by clicking on the "Top Mommy Blogs" button in the right column.

As always, I am eager to hear your thoughts, so please leave a comment sharing your thoughts or sharing your blog!

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52 Weeks of Blogging with A Purpose: If I Could Have One Super Power

I discovered this inspiration from a fellow blogger (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder). I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read. So... I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

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I am attempting to catch up, so I am skipping a couple weeks, and skipping ahead to Week 8.

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This week's topic is: If I could have one super power...

Who doesn't wish at some point to have a super power?  The ability to lift extremely heavy objects, the ability to see through walls, the ability to have super-sonic hearing: these are just a few of the superpowers we have grown up admiring in the super heroes from comic books and movies.

I know my Kiddo is obsessed with super heroes.  He loves Batman, Superman, any of the Avengers, any of the X-Men.   He and I often talk about who our favorite super hero might be and why.  We have also discussed on occasion what we would choose, if we were allowed to choose a super power of our own.

Honestly, because I take things ENTIRELY TOO SERIOUSLY most of the time, I also took choosing a super power too seriously.  Kiddo chose one, imagined what he might do with it, and moved on.  Meanwhile, I was picking apart every power. 

Being able to read minds- No... Too invasive.  And frankly, if people know I can read their minds, I would not be able to get away with "not knowing" certain things.  LOL

Being able to walk through walls- No...  I am too lazy as it is.  What little exercise I get because I am forced to walk AROUND the walls, instead of through them, is much needed, I can assure you.

Being able to see through walls- Meh...  This would not be a good thing for me.  On one side, I am incredibly nosey as it is.  On the other, I hate spoiled surprises.  The few times I have been able to guess a gift, I was miserable at my own deflated sense of anticipation. 

Super hearing- No WAY!  I do NOT want to over hear other people's conversations.  Its bad enough I get to "listen in" through places like FB and Twitter as people carry private conversations out in public. 

So then I think of superpowers like those of the mutants in X-Men, those that are not just a super power, but also a little freaky.   I mean, come on, Wolverine is AWESOME, but being able to grow claws on command is a bit spooky.   Or Rogue's ability to drain life (and ability) from anyone she touches.  Super cool!   And ultra freaky!

I think back on all my favorite super heros growing up and why I liked them so much.  I think of Thor, who is STILL my all time favorite.  He is my favorite because he is a god.  Yet, he is also so humanlike- he struggles with pride, vengeance, responsibility.   Another favorite: Spiderman.  Amazing hero out to help where ever he can, and in real life is a humble, almost a nobody, guy in most people's estimation.  Then I think on the female heroes, which all just make me roll my eyes. 

((Have you noticed that, yes, most of the male heroes are ultra hot, but there are plenty of them who are not overly built, or typically handsome?  Meanwhile, the female heroes are all voluptuous, sensual, and amazingly attractive- bordering on inappropriate?)) 

Yeah--- I told you, I take this stuff entirely too seriously.  :)

So back to choosing my super power. 

I would choose the ability to talk to animals.  Seriously.  I already try my best to mimic cat meows, dog barks, even ground squirrel chattering.  And since I tend to get along way better with most animals than I do most humans, I would probably be an AWESOME animal whisperer.   Then again, I might not. 

One thing I know for certain, I would be able to understand the evil eye my cat gives me randomly for no apparent reason! 

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If you liked reading this, you might also like this: http://barknknit.blogspot.com/2013/08/onesuperpower.html

or

http://chronicles-of-kt.blogspot.com/2013/08/52-weeks-of-blogging-with-purposeif-i.html
 

52 Weeks of Blogging with A Purpose: My Biggest Weakness

I discovered this inspiration from one of my followers (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder). I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read. So... I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

This week (and I am behind...) the topic is "My Biggest Weakness."

I have a lot of weaknesses.

I am a sucker for a good fiction novel, especially if it is science fiction or fantasy; even more so if the novel is one of a series where I can really dive into another world and into the character's life. Yeah... I am THAT person. LOL

I am a huge fan of Starbucks Frappucino's:  Caramel Frap with no whip to be exact. I have a VERY hard time walking or driving by a Starbucks and NOT stopping to get one.

I am a complete lunatic when it comes to flowers. I drive DH crazy with my continual pictures of flowers (he calls them weeds) every where we go!

I am also a complete looney when it comes to furry creatures. My voice goes up in pitch, I start speaking "baby," and I make a beeline to see the creatures closer as I hope to be able to touch and pet them. (People stare as I get all excited over furry things... LOL)

However, my greatest weakness is wrapped up in flesh and bone and walks around in two separate bodies- my Hubby and my Kiddo.

There is nothing I won't do for my family. Sometimes this a is a great thing, and sometimes this is not a great thing.

You want an example of a great thing? LOL I have always found it easier to protect others, while I rarely ever stand up for myself. Now that I have my beautiful family, beware- I am super protective and outspoken if I feel you are taking advantage of my Hubby or being cruel or rude to my Kiddo. The only example I can think of where I jumped in to defend my family that was truly out of character for me was when one of my DH's bosses kept him long after work. The man KNEW DH was relying on a ride to get home, and that the ride was not going to wait for my DH. He kept him anyway, which forced me to drive an hour (one direction) to go pick up DH. I was furious!  Not only did he put DH out, but he caused me to wake up my napping Kiddo, take dinner off the stove, load up a the car (Kiddo was a toddler at the time, so you KNOW you are loading everything just for a small trek.. lol), and drive in heavy traffic on a day when I was frustrated with intense Fibro pain. When I got to DH, and he told me the entire story, I did not hesitate. I knew I could still catch the man at his office, so I called him directly, and gave him an honest piece of my mind. Weeks later, I met the man face to face, when he apologized profusely for his neglect of his staff.

Now, on the flip side, because my guys are my biggest weakness, I have a horrible time telling either of them "no." This is especially true when DH and I go shopping together. No kidding, this has gotten so bad, we made a rule that we are not allowed to go shopping together anymore. You see, this is what happens. The three of us wander the store with list in hand. I am all about getting what is on the list and hauling butt out of there! However, DH is steering the cart. We will be fine until something catches his eye- a new cereal, a cool shirt, a household item, a new tool. The worst part is DH can justify just about anything (which is why he would be an incredible salesman!) By the time he has justified why we need whatever it is, even though I KNOW we don't, somehow the item has ended up in the cart. Then, I am also bad because I shop for the Kiddo.  When DH starts veering off the list, I do too, and if its for the Kiddo, I find I can justify its purchase as well.  (Not so much if its something I want for me... sigh) By the time we check out, our simple shopping list has been multiplied several times over with other things that we might need, could use, or simply wanted. Because that clearly affects our wallets, we created the rule not to shop together. hehe

Now, with the Kiddo, I am very happy to say I have not had to become a "Mama Bear" very often. He has been incredibly blessed with good friends, great role models, and incredible teachers who all have helped him through any difficult situation so that I have not had to pull out my claws.

Yeah. I have a ton of materialistic weaknesses. I suppose we all do. However, when I look at all those things, and compare them to my guys, there is no doubt that my guys really are my weakness. I am okay with that! :)

52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: My Life 5 Years From Now

I discovered this inspiration from one of my followers (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder).  I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read.  So...  I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

Ah... Where will I be five years from now? 

As a MilSpouse I can confidently say that only God and the Air Force knows.  hahaha

Okay, seriously.  Since I cannot for sure tell you where I will physically be, and frankly, I am not sure I want to because I certainly do not want all you people getting there before me.  LOL  So, lets just go with the things I know for sure, and the things I hope will be in five years.

As you can tell, in my mid-30's, I have enough gray hair to be mistaken for an older woman.   (and I do, all the time...)  I do not mind, my gray hair is a testament to the struggles I have and am walking through- lessons learned, wisdom gained, failures and successes. 

First, I can confidently say that unless my Lord calls me home before then, I will be 40 years old.  Now, I know most women (and men for that matter) hate the "Big 0's" in their lives.  I remember all my peers fussing over turning 30, and I have some friends who have surpassed 40, 50, and even 60 years of age.  Many of them seem to think that aging into the next decade means they have magically appeared older, that their bodies are going to suddenly start to fall apart, that they are over-night less attractive to their significant other, and the list goes on and on.  For me, I have never been concerned about getting older.  It might be due to the fact that I tend to gravitate toward older men and women as people I can better relate to, find to be easier to talk to, and seek to learn from.  Maybe.  Or it might be because I simply do not care that I am aging.  Another birthday, outside of celebrating with the people I love the most, is simply another day.  I have never woken up on a birthday and felt older.  I have never woken up on a birthday, looked in the mirror, and suddenly thought to myself that I have instantly fallen apart at the seems.  No.  Birthdays- particularly the ones that have a zero at the end, do not concern me beyond the surreal feeling of realizing that I have been on this planet for x number of years and do not feel like it has been that long at all.

 

Second, I will be the mother of a teenager.  Now, compared to birthdays, the concept of being a mom to a teen scares the crud out of me! Certainly, I am not the first mom to feel apprehension over having a teen in the house, nor will I be the last.  However, if you read my previous post where I revealed my great reluctance and fears over being a Mom to begin with, you might appreciate my concern over this stage in my life as a Mom.  I have great faith that he will surpass my expectations even as he will test his boundaries at every turn.  I am certain he will prove himself to be both independent, dependable, atypical, and just as hormonal as any other teen that has ever lived.  Plus, I am fairly certain that any particular pain or worry or struggle that I forced upon my own parents will come back to haunt me in the form of his teenage adventures.  I hope and pray that the Lord leads me (and my Kiddo.) 

 

Third, I will still be wife to DH, much as he might wish to trade me in for two younger versions (as he jokes from time to time.)  He will not get rid of me that easy!  LOL  In five years, DH and I will have been married for fourteen years.  Well.... ACTUALLY... We will have been married for three and half years, since we were married on Leap Day in 2004.  (His idea... and no, he does not get out of remembering our Anniversary every year, in case you gents are thinking this is a great way to not get in trouble for forgetting your wedding anniversary.)  We make it a point to celebrate each other every year, but on every Leap Year, we plan a special trip, weekend getaway, or vacation for just the two of us to really celebrate our love for each other.  Year 14 won't be one of those years, but no matter what we do or where we are, I am eager to celebrate this life together with him.

Fourth, I certainly hope that I have my degree by then.  I started going back to school in hopes of gaining my Bachelor's in Environmental Science by the Winter of 2011.  Life happened, and that goal was pushed back to the Winter of 2012.   Life happened again, and now I have been forced to push the date back even further.  Granted, I could sacrifice other things so I could concentrate on school.  Getting my degree is very important to me as I am the first person in my family who has the means and the opportunity to do so.  However, in comparison to being Wife and Mom, gaining that degree is trivial to me when I think of the time I might be missing as my marriage grows, as my child grows.  If it comes down to it, the degree can wait.  I have never been career driven.  I do not understand it, and do not want it (which is probably why I will never get into a really "good" job, because I also am very blunt about the fact that my family will ALWAYS come first, even at the expense of job responsibilities.)

Fifth, I get to share with you the "when I grow up" blurb.  Regarding that degree, the one I want, but not THAT bad.  I do hope to someday work for the National Park Service or the Forestry Division.  I wish that might happen within the next five years, but as with the degree, so long as I feel like DH or the Kiddo need me home (or close to home) more, I will simply not take on that kind of job.  However, if I were able, I hope to be able to teach in a park setting.  I want to teach about creation, about the perfect balance in nature and how we can help protect, support, and preserve that balance.  I hope that I will have the opportunity to prove that God's hand is in every aspect of this world, and how nature proves it.

 

Sixth, in five years time, I hope to be an established author.  I love, love, love to write.  However, I also put that aside in regards to my family.  (Do NOT misunderstand... I do NOT regret putting myself last- that is simply part of who I am.)  Recently, I started writing a Bible Study for women associated with our Armed Forces.  Currently, its in limbo as we are moving, deciding, planning, and settling, and as my study materials are all in a crate somewhere until we move into a house.  However, I believe the Lord wishes me to write it, and it excites me to think He may open the doors to get it published.  Then there is my personal writing.  I am co-writing with an incredible author, plus I am writing a novel of my own.  I would be so thrilled and honored to see both of the books in print. 

Finally, in five years time, I hope that DH and I will have been able to instill in our Kiddo the love we have for our God, for our planet, and for our country.  I hope that, since he will be at that tender teenage year, we will have instilled in him the ability to think for himself, but also the ability to stand up for what is right, and the ability to stand firm in the midst of the "everyone else is doing it" mentality.  I hope in five years, that DH and I will have become more than parents to the Kiddo, that we will have become his mentors, his confidantes, and his closest friends.  I often tell the Kiddo now that I am not his friend, I am his Mommy.  However, in the world we live in, I truly do hope when he is surrounded by the teenage struggles that he can feel comfortable and confident in coming to us for help, advice, and an ear or shoulder.

I could speculate all day long about what my life might look like five years from now.  However, one thing I have learned, from even before being a part of the Military community, is that when I plan, God laughs.  Seriously.  He does!  None of my own plans have ever come to fruition in the ways I had hoped.  Every single time, I have been sent in a different, sometimes opposite direction.  Sometimes, those things I had planned for come about in a different way, at a different point in my life than I expected; sometimes I look back and see those plans were shot down permanently and replaced with His will that, in retrospect, was so much better than what I had planned for and hoped for.  (Duh!  Isn't that always the way?)  So, I will find this particular post interesting to read five years from now to see how my hopes have panned out, how my confident predictions have come through or not. 

Till then...  :)   God bless! 

52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: 10 Things I Live For

I discovered this inspiration from one of my followers (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder).  I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share are not necessarily what everyone wants to read.  So...  I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

This week's topic is "10 Things I Live For."  ((or in my case: SEVEN things... hehe))

You would think that as a Wife, Mom, Independant Contractor, etc that I could come up with very easily those ten things.  Not so.  Off the top of my head, yes, I can come up with a couple of things that really drive me, things that really motivate me.  However, as I am writing this, I am still struggling to think of all ten. 

((FYI- these are not necessarily in order of importance.))

1.  Being a good Christian

 

I know, I know.  Some of you, my dear friends, do not believe as I do.  Some of you are not Christian.  Some of you are of other faiths, or are agnostic, or even atheist.  However, no matter what you fall under in the realm of religion or no religion, whether you realize it or not, you are living a life of faith, which some how drives you, your words, and your actions.  My faith has a name, has a God, has a manual, and has offered me a look at the Divine.  Having said that, I do live to be a better person.  I really do try to remember that His will for me, His convicting of me, His directing of me is not going to be the same for everyone around me.  I try to remember that He works in His time, and works within the constructs He made for us- our ability to choose for ourselves what is right and what is wrong.   Some people use society as their plumb line- I choose to use the example of Christ and the direction of the Holy Spirit and Bible.  I have a LONG way to go in my efforts to be more Christ-like, but I do try- sometimes minute-by-minute.

2.  Being a Proverbs 31 Wife

I know DH brags on me quite a bit to his friends.   I am honored that he is proud of me and the way I keep the house, or the way I take care of him and the Kiddo.  However, I know my own short-comings, and as a wife, I know I can use a lot of improvement.  I strive to improve myself in all those areas that will most benefit my marriage and my family.  I have been ridiculed by some well-meaning friends that I need to focus more on myself, that I need to make sure I take time for myself, etc.   I disagree whole-heartedly.  While I do not see anything wrong with women who do that, for me-Hubby comes first.  I married with the intention of being supportive at the expense of my own dreams and goals.  I married with the intention of being a good steward of the income DH brings home, of the home we live in, of the material possessions we own.  Still, the best of intentions fall short as I still often linger over unfulfilled dreams, as I sink into thoughts of sacrifices made.  I am, after all, human.  Only recently, the Lord has afforded me doors and windows that allow me the opportunity to see some of those dreams I thought were long-gone actually start to come true.   This unexpected blessing motivates me to work even harder at being a wife that supports DH, that helps him, encourages him, and reflects God's Will in our marriage.

3.  Being a Better Mommy

Being a "good mom" means different things to different people.  I learned early on as a Mom that I cannot compare my parenting to another Mom.  I choose to discipline using a variety of methods- spanking among them, while many of my friends frankly think my use of spanking is barbaric and cruel.  I choose to educate my son at every opportunity.  I was ridiculed for giving my son flash cards to teach him how to read and spell for his 2nd birthday.   I have been ridiculed for not letting him play in the street, for not letting him wander off on his own, for allowing him to have his own computer, for giving him too many chores, not enough chores, and on and on.  However, I have learned this: while I am not a perfect mom, and never will be, so long as my son knows how much I love him, and that everything I do is because of that love, I believe I am still the best Mommy for him.  Regardless, I also know that as he grows, tried and true methods will fail and I will need to invent new creative ways to keep his attention, to earn his trust, and to teach him respect (for himself, myself, and others.)  So I daily strive to be a better Mom today than I was yesterday.

4.  To learn

I really am a student of life.  I love to learn.  However, I have discovered over the past few years that I am going to have to relearn quite a bit that I had previously known.  (I have an atrocious memory, and it just gets worse and worse.)  My favorite subjects are Theology, Environmental Science, Biology, and Cultural Studies.  Theology, I guess, is an obvious one.  However, I do not just enjoy learning about my own Faith, I am also very interested in learning about other Faiths.  (Note- I do not call them religions.  I do not care about religion.  I DO care about what people BELIEVE and why.  The reason for that is a topic for another post.)  Environmental Science and Biology interests stem from my beliefs, which branch off into my personal belief that this world is a stewardship, and we are responsible to take care of it for the sake of our children's children, and because, as I have said over and over before, there is nothing in Creation that does not reflect Divine intention.  Then there is my interest in Cultural Studies.  This really comes from my family history.  Because of my ties to Poland and Germany, and because of suspected ties to a Jewish heritage, I am fascinated with my own family cultural heritage, and that has created in me a deep fascination with other cultures as well. 

5.  To conquer

While my medical issues are nowhere near as severe as others, and they certainly are not life-threatening, I struggle on a daily basis to keep the medical issues from being a problem in my life.  I daily strive to push down the feelings of frustration when pain limits my abilities.  I daily strive to conquer feelings of helplessness and despair, which so easily lead me into depression, because I do not have the time for those feelings, AND those feelings affect my family.  Granted, the past four and half years have been much, much easier to deal with then the three before that (when we were in Hawaii), but the struggle is still a daily thing.  I am happy to say that for the most part, I have been successful in conquering each day.

6.  To let go

Love, life, relationships.  Being a MilSpouse, being a hermit, and being independent means that I often step on toes, hurt feelings, and cut myself off in the process.  I learned somewhere along the way that hanging on to my own hurt feelings only adds to bitterness, and bitterness is a very hard thing to get rid of and get over.  I have seen the damage bitterness does in marriages, in families, and in friendships.  As a result, I have taught myself to let it go. 

7.  I live...

I truly cannot think of much more that I live for beyond what I have already listed.  So for the final one I guess I have to say that I live- to live.  My life is not one full of regrets.  Yes, I have made many mistakes over the years.  Yes, I have seen my own ugly side, have seen horrible things come about as results of my words or actions.  Yes, there is much that I "could" regret.  However,  my life so far is the culmination of triumphs and mistakes.  All of the past is a testament to lessons learned.  So from this day forward, I live for all of the above so that my life is fuller and without regret.

52 Weeks of Blogging With A Purpose: Who I Am

I discovered this inspiration from one of my followers (Janelle at Wild Blue Yonder).  I have plenty of my own stuff to share, but I fear all those things I wish to share is not necessarily what everyone wants to read.  So...  I thought I would join Janelle in participating in this blog event (inspired by Becky at From Mrs. to Mama).

Week One: Who I Am

Christian

First and foremost, I am a Christian.  I know that might sound cliche to many of you.  However, this is fact.  I feel love from my God and for my God as tangible as the love I feel for my DH and as intense and heart-consuming as the love I feel for my son.  I was raised in a Christian environment, but learned early on that just because someone says they are a Christian does not mean that is so.  I have spent much of my Christian life (I was saved in the 3rd grade) doing my best to live in His Will, to never stop communicating with Him, and to become less hesitant to share those incredible things He has done in my life.   I hope to reflect Him more in my words and my actions, to include the things I post on my blog.   One thing I hope I can make clear is that being a Christian does not mean I am better than anyone else.  What it means is that I realize I am NOT better, but that I am just as flawed and broken.  I have the same fears, doubts, and struggles as anyone else.  However, I also have joy, faith, hope, and salvation.  All the best things about me are due to my Faith.

MilSpouse

While I am proud of my experience in the Air Force and Air Force Reserves, the hardest military job I have held is that of a MilSpouse.  I love my DH.  He has so many incredible qualities that drew me to him in the first place.  I had this incredible (most of my friends said "impossible") list of qualities I wanted in my husband.  Up till I met DH, the guys I dated barely met a handful of those qualities.  It was a list of 44 criteria, and I was perfectly willing to remain single until I found the one who fit them all, even if that meant I would never marry.  As we dated, and I realized he fit more and more of them, I also found myself falling in love with him.  At some point in our early relationship, I forgot about the list.  It was not till we had been married for several years that I rediscovered the list, and going over it, found he fits ALL 44 criteria plus several more that I did not list.  Now, because he is in the Military, I find myself often without my soul mate and best friend.  That is the hardest part.  I respect him for his sacrifice.  I trust him with my heart.  I honor him as he fulfills his duty to his country.  Yet, I also find myself jealous of the time he spends away.  I sometimes find myself bitter at having to play the roles of both Mom and Dad.  Filling the role of MilSpouse has its own unique set of challenges, and its own set of unique rewards.  Above all, I am just so proud to stand next to DH as he stands up for our Country and the values she still holds dear.

Mom

Nine years ago, my life changed in ways no one could have ever accurately define or describe.  Frankly, I never wanted to have children.  I wanted to go and see and do and be on the move.  Having children often hinders that kind of life.  Plus, I long ago lost faith in the world as a place in which to bring a child up.  Yet, DH and I were surprised to discover I was pregnant (Kiddo was not planned for... LOL).  Funny thing is, while I was (don't judge me too harshly) horrified at the prospect of being a Mom, DH was thrilled to become a Dad.  I carried my fears and doubts all through my pregnancy.  I worried so much that I would be a poor Mom, that I would damage our child, that I would hold him back, that I would not allow him to soar- all fears that I still live with on a day-to-day basis, but fears that I have learned to keep in check.  I was terrified even through the labor pains... Right up until he was born and I got to hold him, all I knew of being a Mom scared the crap out of me.  But holding him in my arms for the first time, and holding his perfect little hand, seeing his perfect little face, all those fears mingled with a love that no one but another Mom can understand.  Suddenly, those fears were not crippling.  Suddenly, those doubts were not all-consuming.  No, they did not go away.  They simply did not matter as much as the huge swelling in my heart- till I felt like it would burst from being so full.  Now, at nine years, I look back and realize, I may not be a perfect Mom, but with every hug, kiss, cuddle, and prayer, I am the best Mom I can be for him.  Now I look back and laugh at the fears and doubts that riddled my pregnancy.

Sister

I grew up a child of a split home.  No- My Dad and Mom were both present throughout my entire childhood, and they are still together today.  What I mean is, I grew up knowing I had three sisters, but because two of them were from a previous marriage, I only knew my biological sister.  I have a very special relationship with my baby sister.  She is my best friend.  She is the one I go to when I need the God-honest truth.  When I need a dose of reality, a kick in the butt, a listening ear, a soothing reminder of God's grace, I call my sister.  She and I may not always see eye-to-eye, but we need each other like grass needs rain, so we keep our differences out in the open, but never in each other's face.  I treasure my relationship with my sister like no other relationship I have ever had with anyone besides my Hubby and my son.  However, I also have two half-sisters.  I knew one of them better than the other, but both were always so far away.  Its only been in the last few years that I have been able to re-establish contact with both of them, and we are slowly building the framework of strong relationships.  I find it so amazing and beautiful that my three sisters are so alike and so different in so many ways, and in comparing those two to my sister and myself, I have found that we resemble each other much more than seems possible!  It is my sincere hope and desire to be able to have a "sister reunion" where we can spend some time face to face and really have a chance to get to know each other. 

The rest of the things that make me who I am are merely definers...  All the following things help define who I am, but I am not bound to any of them.  Some have been part of me since I was little, others I have grown into.

Veteran
I served in the US Air Force for several years.  I started training to be a Linguist, but ended up becoming a Medical Technician.  I served the bulk of my career in San Antonio where I had the pleasure to work with cancer patients and then in a family practice setting.  I also served in the AF Reserves for a few years where I had the opportunity to actually travel quite a bit more than while I was Active Duty.  (Figures, LOL)  Both experiences changed my life, many of my views, and my outlook on the sacrifices our Military Members make every day for a Country that is sometimes very ungrateful.

Bookworm
I have had my nose in a book since I learned how to read.  I read everything except non-fiction (manual type).  While I enjoy all genre's, my favorites lean toward fantasy and science fiction with a select bit of historical fiction.  I abhor romance novels- well, ANY book that romanticizes promiscuity and sex outside of marriage.  I enjoy a good biography or autobiography, and have always had a special fascination with any survivor stories from WWI or WWII or the Holocaust.  My favorite authors include Terry Brooks, Frank Herbert, Pat Frank, Victoria Holt, Tolstoy, H.G. Wells, Tolkein, and so many more...

Author
I have dreamt of writing my own books since I was a girl.  I recently found story ideas that I had jotted down over the years that span all the way back to high school.  Some of the stories were inspired by books that changed my way of thinking, or books that challenged me to think outside the box, and others that just caused me to really stop and think about something I had never considered before.  Currently, I am co-writing a fiction book.  On top of that I am working on two different Bible Studies intended for women associated with the Military.  Then I have two of my own novels that I am working on when I have time.  Someday, I hope to see my work in print (or ebook).  I think I have talent and imagination when it comes to telling a story, but time will tell.  If nothing else, the formation of the characters and the plot is something I really enjoy bringing all together- bringing the story to life.

Photographer
I am rarely without my camera.  It is nothing fancy, and I have had absolutely zero training or education when it comes to photography.  However, I love snapping pictures of my favorite people and of God's creation.  I look at nature as proof of His love and devotion.  If He took such great pains to create such perfectly balanced, perfectly designed systems like we see in the human body, the life cycle of a plant, and the cycles of nature, how much more does He do for us without us ever realizing it?  Capturing creation on film reminds me everyday of the wonder and majesty of this world around us, as flawed as it has become under our care.  For samples of my photography please click on the tab above: Where We Live.

Nature Lover

Not to be confused with a tree-hugger, or a hippie, because I am neither.  I simply adore the world our God has created for us.  I may not like the damage humanity has wreaked on our planet.  I may not understand much of the logic that has driven men to take and take and take with no thoughts to our future generations, because Biblically, we are stewards of this planet, not takers.  I can not look at nature and not see God's hand in the details.  The immense amount of detail to make it all work did NOT just happen by accident.  My love of nature is, I hope, reflected in my amateur photography.  My little strides in conservation, using less to allow more for future generations, may not seem like a lot to environmentalists, but they are what they are.  I have plans to take bigger strides in the name of conservation, but each transition takes time and adjustment.   

Hermit

I am a multi-faceted person...  There is so much more to me than many people see because another huge characteristic that makes me who I am is that I am a hermit.  I shy away from most people, even those I care for deeply.  I do not like to be seen when I am pain, when I am struggling, and when I feel weak.  On the flip side, I also just enjoy most the company of my loved ones in the surroundings in which I am most comfortable- my home.  There are very few other places where I can sincerely feel like I can be myself, where I am comfortable sitting, relaxing, and sharing.  This tendency has cost me dearly many incredible friendships, for which I am sad, but on the flip side, so many other friendships have met me where I am and have truly stepped in to fill the sometimes huge gaps that I create.  (Its my hermit tendencies that keep me from making "Friend" one of the words that describe me, because in my own estimation of myself, I consider myself hard to be friends with.)

Again, there is so much more to me than can be shared in one single blog post.  But thank you for coming and reading and learning a little about me.  I have enjoyed sharing about myself.  Please be sure to check out the two delightful blogs I mentioned up near the top.  I am sure you will enjoy them as much as I have.